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Cholesterol...on Tinder! (part 1 of 3)

February 9, 2017

 

"Hey, lets meet...you need me in your life" ;-)

 

If Cholesterol was on a dating App...its profile would sound something like this.

 

Name: (3β)-cholest-5-en-3-ol but my friends call me Cholesterol

 

Location: Every single one of the 37 trillion cells in your body...what can I say, I get around!

 

Born: In your liver - 80% of me anyway, the rest comes from your diet.

 

Body Type: I'm a big fatty and proud of it!

 

Do you have a car?: No I prefer boats.

 

Do you have kids: Billions of them yeah.

 

Personality type: Carer.

 

Seeking: longterm relationship.

 

Likes: Boating, swimming, helping others (mostly making hormones including your sex hormones ;-),  helping produce bile so you can digest your grub, and I don't like to boast but I actually keep your cells together...)

 

Dislikes: Statins.

 

Interested?:-)

 

A FEW MAIN POINTS TO KNOW BEFORE THE FIRST DATE...CONVERSATION STARTERS...

  • Cholesterol (Ch) is a fatty "lipid" that floats around our bodies doing tonnes of jobs. But because our blood is more watery, it needs help getting around, so jumps on a big boat called "THE LPS" (lipopolysaccharide).

  • "The LPS" also carries 2 other fat dudes called Tg (triglycerides) and VLDL (very low density lipoprotein). Everyone gets on famously. Best friends.

  • The LPS makes frequent stop offs at the muscles in your body, and sometimes your fat cells. Everyone prefers heading to the muscles in general as they all work together to make energy! Its great fun. When the boat stops at the fat cells...its kind of boring. Everyone has to sit and wait to be used...sometimes doesn't get used at all.

  • Tg generally has the best time though...its always getting dropped off here and there. When Tg leaves the boat, everyone bids goodbye and the boat gets revamped and gets rechristened "The LDL". Its all good! The body just loves it!

  • The LDL boats and their cargo head back to the liver, about every 2 days. The whole thing gets recycled very efficiently, its very eco-friendly! And so begins the entire cycle again.

 

WHAT IF HE ASKS YOU ABOUT HDL!!!?

 

HDL (High Density Lipoprotein), widely known as "good cholesterol" but frankly all cholesterol is good so thats another post!

  • HDL is like another boat and carries Ch and Tgs in and out of other boats. There's only so much room on a boat ya know! Its really good friends with VLDL, LDL and Ch cause it prevents over crowding etc- spreads the love!

 

SO WHAT HAPPENS IF THE DATE TURNS BAD? THAT PROFILE PIC WAS FROM 20 YEARS AGO AND HASN'T AGED WELL?!

 

So you arrive, all dressed up and realise Ch is an expert in photoshop. He's got wrinkles, he's smaller than he said, and kind of sticky! Tells you work hasn't been going so well...cant seem to get into the recycling gig he used to be so good at. After a few drinks tells you his home, The Liver, doesn't even recognise him any more!  He's not sure where it all went wrong. Ever since he became "oxidised", all he seems to be able to do is hang around making blood clots, and sticking to artery walls making them thicker and scabbier!.  His psychiatrist says its something to do with his environment and keeps going on about addressing the "underlying causes" or he's going to get arrested for causing Atherosclerosis (Heart Disease) and thats a death sentence!

 

TAKE HOME POINTS

  1. A total cholesterol reading generally tells you very little. Its the quality, the size, the condition of the LPS particles that need to be referred to. But at the moment, tests for this can only be done in America.

  2. Addressing "high" cholesterol is not the answer. Figuring out the ROOT CAUSES, the reason your cholesterol is "high" should be the result of any negative findings. Going on statins to lower cholesterol only puts a plaster over the wound.

  3. Lifestyle, environment, nutrition, and stress levels all need to be addressed, seriously and honestly.

And....when it comes to tinder

Don't take him home on the first date! You're better than that!

At least not until he listens to the psychiatrist and learns HOW TO ADDRESS THE ROOT CAUSES! (see post!)

 

- Grainne

 

 

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